So, I found myself thinking about my ex again the other day. It is weird, right? I mean, we broke up a while ago, and things ended pretty okay, no big drama or anything. But still, there I was, wondering how they are doing, what they are up to, and all that jazz. I decided to get to the bottom of this.
First off, I grabbed my journal and started jotting down every time I thought about my ex. Was it when I heard a certain song? Saw a specific place we used to go to? Or was it just random? Turns out, it was a mix of all these things. I noticed patterns, like thinking of them more on weekends when I had more free time, or when I was feeling a bit down.
Tracking the Triggers
To figure this out, I made a simple list in my journal:
- Date/Time: When did the thought occur?
- Trigger: What seemed to cause it?
- Feeling: How did it make me feel?
- Action: What did I do afterward?
This little exercise was eye-opening. I realized that a lot of times, it wasn’t even really about them. Sometimes, it was just me being nostalgic or feeling lonely. Other times, seeing something that reminded me of them triggered a memory, and boom, there they were in my head.
Digging Deeper
Next, I decided to do some soul-searching. Why did these thoughts make me feel the way they did? Was I still holding onto something? Was I not over the relationship? I started writing about my feelings, trying to untangle the mess in my head. I wrote about the good times, the bad times, and everything in between.
This process was tough. I had to be honest with myself, which wasn’t always easy. I discovered that I still had some unresolved feelings, not necessarily romantic ones, but more like a sense of unfinished business. There were things I wished I had said or done differently. I also realized that I missed the companionship, the comfort of having someone who knew me so well.
Taking Action
Once I had a better understanding of what was going on, I decided to take some action. First, I worked on forgiving myself and my ex for any mistakes we made. This was huge. It felt like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. Then, I focused on moving forward. I started doing things that made me happy, spending more time with friends, and picking up new hobbies.
I also made a conscious effort to stop myself whenever I started going down the rabbit hole of thinking about my ex. Instead of dwelling on those thoughts, I’d redirect my energy to something positive, like planning a fun activity or working on a personal project.
So, here’s the deal: caring about an ex is normal. It doesn’t mean you are not over them or that you want to get back together. Sometimes, it is just your brain processing the past. The key is to understand why you are feeling this way and to take steps to move forward. It is all about personal growth, and it is all okay.
And that’s my messy, very human journey of figuring out why I still care about my ex. It wasn’t easy, but it was definitely worth it. I feel more at peace now, and I’ve learned a lot about myself in the process.
