Alright, alright, let’s talk about this… thingy. You know, the one for… pleasuring yourself. They call it a maturbation sleeve, sounds fancy, don’t it? But it’s just a thing you use when, well, you’re alone and you got that… itch. Don’t act like you don’t know what I’m talkin’ about! Everybody gets that itch, ain’t no shame in it.
Now, I ain’t no expert, mind you. I’m just an old woman who’s seen a thing or two. And I hear these young folks talkin’ about all sorts of contraptions these days. They got vibrators, and things that, uh, thrust themselves? Sounds like somethin’ out of a sci-fi movie to me. But this maturbation sleeve thing, that’s been around a while, I reckon. Just a different name for it now.
I heard some fella, a “sexologist” they called him, sayin’ this stroker, or whatever, is the thing he tells folks to use. Said it’s the best. Guess he knows what he’s talkin’ about. He probably seen more of these things than I seen chickens in my whole life!
- Now, there’s all kinds of ‘em, I hear. Some are cheap, some cost a pretty penny. Like that Fleshlight Pink Lady Destroya. Sounds dangerous, don’t it? Seventy dollars! That’s a lot of money for somethin’ you use by yourself, if you ask me.
- Then there’s somethin’ called a Tenga Egg Wavy II. Sounds like somethin’ you’d eat for breakfast, not somethin’ you… well, you know. But I guess it’s cheaper, so that’s good for folks on a budget.
And get this, there’s even folks talkin’ about the best way to… use this thing. Like, what position you should be in. Lying on your back, they say, is the “standard.” Well, I never! Who knew there was a right and a wrong way to do this? Seems like folks overthinkin’ things these days. Back in my day, you just… did it. No fancy positions, no fancy contraptions.
They got all kinds of stores for this stuff too. They call ‘em “sex toy shops.” Lord have mercy! They got clit-sucking vibrators – don’t even ask me what that is – and rabbit vibrators. Sounds like somethin’ you’d find in a pet store! And then there’s the stuff for your… well, your back door, if you know what I mean. Anal toys, they call ‘em. And some of these things are “whisper-quiet.” Guess you don’t want your neighbors hearin’ what you’re up to! It’s a whole different world out there now, I tell you.
If you’re new to this whole thing, they got vibrating toys and sleeves and all sorts of stuff to try. For “new sensations,” they say. Sounds like a bunch of hooey to me, but hey, to each their own. If you’re lookin’ for the “perfect option,” there’s guides out there, on somethin’ called the “internet.” You can find anythin’ on that internet, I hear. Too much if you ask me.
So, this maturbation sleeve thing. It’s just a way to, well, make yourself feel good. Ain’t nothin’ wrong with that. Just don’t go spendin’ your whole life savings on it. And don’t go tellin’ everybody your business. Some things are best kept private, you know? Just a little piece of advice from an old woman who’s seen it all.
And remember, no matter what they call it – masturbator, stroker, or fancy names like Fleshlight – it’s all the same thing. Just a way to take care of that itch. And that’s all there is to it. Don’t need to make a big fuss about it. Just keep it clean and keep it to yourself. That’s what I say.
