Okay, so, I’ve been dealing with this situation with my partner. It’s been driving me nuts, and I finally decided to tackle it head-on. He’s a great guy, don’t get me wrong, but sometimes he acts like a total man-child. I mean, making decisions? Forget about it. It’s always “I don’t know, you pick” or “whatever you want.” Drove me crazy!
First, I tried to sit him down and have a serious talk. I explained how important it is for both of us to be mature adults in this relationship. You know, sharing the load, making decisions together, all that jazz. I even tried to make it clear that it’s not about controlling him, but about growing together. He nodded along, said he understood, but nothing changed. Same old story.
Then, I started giving him small decisions to make. Stuff like, “Hey, what do you want for dinner tonight?” or “Which movie should we watch?” It was painful. He would hem and haw, and try to deflect. I remained patient, though. I would insist, “No, really, I want you to choose.” Sometimes he would, other times he’d get frustrated. But I kept at it.
Building Confidence is a Must
- I started praising him whenever he did make a decision, even a small one. “Great choice, babe! That sounds delicious.” Or, “Awesome, I wanted to see that movie too!” Positive reinforcement, you know?
- I also started encouraging him to speak up more, not just about decisions but about his feelings and opinions in general. I figured that if he got used to voicing his thoughts on little things, it might be easier to tackle the bigger stuff.
- I gave him some articles about assertiveness, and talked with him about how to express himself without feeling like he’s being pushy. We even practiced some conversations where he would say things like, “I’d really appreciate it if we could…” or “I feel strongly that we should…” It felt a bit silly at first, but it actually helped.
Slowly, slowly, I started to see a change. He began making more decisions without me having to push him. He even started taking initiative on some things, like planning a weekend trip or suggesting we try a new restaurant. It was amazing!
It’s still a work in progress, but I’m really proud of how far he’s come. It wasn’t easy, and there were definitely times I wanted to give up. But I’m so glad I stuck with it. Now, instead of feeling like I’m dating a man-child, I feel like I’m in a partnership with a mature, confident man. And that’s pretty awesome.
