How to Enjoy Bath Tub Sex Positions Safely and Comfortably

Alright, let’s talk about bath tub sex positions, you know, getting down and dirty in the tub. I ain’t no fancy expert, but I’ve been around the block a few times, and I know a thing or two about makin’ things… lively. First off, gotta make sure it’s safe, you hear? Don’t want nobody slippin’ and crackin’ their head open, that ain’t sexy at all.

Now, some folks think shower sex is the bees knees, but let me tell ya, that shower floor gets slicker than a greased pig. Bath tub’s where it’s at, you can sit, you can lay, you got options. And for goodness sake, clean the tub before you get in! Nobody wants to be rubbin’ up against last week’s dirt.

Okay, so you got your clean tub and maybe some bubbles, if you’re feeling fancy. What next? Well, you gotta figure out how you and your partner fit together. Everyone’s built different, you know? Like them puzzle pieces, gotta find the right match.

The Sit Down: This one’s easy peasy. One person sits at the end of the tub, legs kinda spread out, and the other person sits on top, facing them. Good for a slow and steady kinda thing. Kinda like how you sit on a stool to milk a cow but this here is a different kind of milking if you catch my drift.
The Lean Back: One person leans back against the tub, and the other person gets on top, either facing them or with their back to them. This one can be a bit more… energetic. Just make sure you got somethin’ to hold onto, don’t want nobody toppling over and splashin’ water everywhere.
The Doggie Style (Tub Edition): You know what doggie style is, don’t act all innocent. But in the tub, it’s a little different. One person kneels, hands on the side of the tub, and the other person… well, you get the picture. This one can be a bit tricky if the tub ain’t big enough, so watch your knees!
The Spoon: This is for when you want to be close and cozy. Both of you lay on your sides, facing the same way, one person snuggled up behind the other. It’s not the wildest ride, but it sure is sweet. Just like spooning in bed but wetter.

And listen here, don’t be afraid to experiment! Try different things, see what feels good. Maybe you like one leg up, maybe you like both legs wrapped around. Maybe you like it fast, maybe you like it slow. It’s your tub, your rules.

Now, some folks like to use those bath bombs and oils and whatnot. That’s all well and good, make it smell nice, but be careful what you put in the water, you hear? Some of that stuff can irritate… sensitive areas. And for the love of all that is holy, don’t use regular soap as lube! You’ll regret it, trust me. Go get yourself some proper lube, the kind that’s safe for water. They make it, you know, for this very purpose.

And speaking of safety, let’s talk about germs. Water can be a breeding ground for all sorts of nasty stuff, especially if you’re in one of them jetted tubs. So, clean the tub good before and after, and maybe even after you get out of the tub too. Better safe than sorry, that’s what I always say.

And don’t forget, communication is key. If something doesn’t feel right, speak up! If something feels amazing, let your partner know! It ain’t mind-reading, it’s about working together to have a good time. And honestly, half the fun is figuring it out together, laughin’ and splashin’ around like a couple of kids.

So, there you have it, a few bath tub sex positions from an old gal who’s seen a thing or two. Just remember to be safe, be clean, be adventurous, and most importantly, have fun! Now go on, get outta here and enjoy yourselves. And don’t forget to put down a bath mat when you get out, don’t want nobody slippin’ and fallin’ after all that fun.

One last thing, if you got one of them fancy whirlpool tubs, be extra careful with what you put in the water. And make sure you clean them jets good, lord knows what kind of gunk gets stuck in there. Now go on, get to it! And don’t forget to close the curtains!