Okay, so here’s the deal. I’ve been seeing this guy for a few months now, and things are going pretty well overall. We have great chemistry, and I really enjoy spending time with him. But, there’s one little thing that’s been bugging me – he’s, well, a bit on the cheap side.
Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m not expecting him to shower me with expensive gifts or take me to fancy dinners every night. I’m perfectly happy with simple dates, but his frugality has been a little too extreme for my liking. At first, I noticed that he kept asking me only for coffee dates. I thought it was fine since we are still in the “get to know each other” stage. But it happened like every single time we went out.
I started to pay attention to more details. We once went out for a walk in the park, which was nice. But when I suggested we grab a bite to eat afterward, he said he had already packed us some sandwiches from home. They were just some bread and ham. It was fine, but not exactly what I was craving after a long walk. Another time, we went to see a movie, and he insisted we sneak in our own snacks instead of buying them at the theater. I felt a bit embarrassed doing that, to be honest. It’s like a thing teenagers would do, not grown-ups like us.
So, what did I do? First, I tried to subtly drop hints. I talked about how much I love trying new restaurants or how excited I was for the new blockbuster movie that I wanted to see in an IMAX theater. But he just didn’t seem to get it, or maybe he just chose to ignore my hints.
Then, I decided to have a more direct conversation with him. I carefully chose my words and waited for the right moment. When we were having a casual chat about our finances and future plans, I brought it up. I told him that I appreciated his efforts to save money, but I also felt like we were missing out on some fun experiences because of it. I used “I” statements, like “I feel like we don’t do enough fun activities together because of our budget,” instead of attacking him by saying, “You’re so cheap.”
To my surprise, he was actually pretty receptive to what I had to say. He explained that he was saving up for a down payment on a house and that he was trying to be extra careful with his spending. I totally understood where he was coming from, but I also explained that there were plenty of free or low-cost activities we could do together, like going for hikes, visiting museums on free admission days, or having picnics in the park.
We ended up having a really good conversation about our spending habits and our expectations when it comes to dating. We agreed to be more mindful of each other’s needs and to find a balance between saving for the future and enjoying the present. We also decided to make a list of free or cheap date ideas that we could both get excited about.
Here are some ideas we came up with:
- Coffee shop dates – but at different places, so we could explore new neighborhoods.
- Picnics in the park – with homemade goodies, but maybe a bit more creative than ham sandwiches.
- Hiking on local trails – a great way to get some exercise and enjoy nature.
- Visiting local sites – many cities have free walking tours or historical landmarks to explore.
Since then, things have been a lot better. We’ve been having a lot more fun together, and I don’t feel like I have to compromise my desire for new experiences. He still pinches pennies here and there, but he’s also made an effort to be more spontaneous and to splurge a little every now and then. We went to a nice restaurant last week for our anniversary, and it was totally worth it! I guess the key is communication and compromise. You gotta talk things out and find a middle ground that works for both of you. Dating a cheap guy doesn’t have to be a dealbreaker, as long as you’re both willing to put in the effort to make it work.
