Alright, so you wanna know about this… this “female cockblock” thing, huh? Well, lemme tell ya, it ain’t somethin’ us old folks talked about back in my day. But from what I gather, it’s like this.
What is this female cockblock anyways?
You got a girl, see? And she’s, well, she’s lookin’ to, you know… get busy with some fella. But then, bam! Someone else comes along and messes it all up. They’re just… there. Hangin’ around, interruptin’, like a fly on a hot summer day. That’s what they call it, a “cockblock.” But now they’re sayin’ there’s a female version. Lordy, the things young folks come up with!
Now, they got all sorts of fancy names for it, I hear. Stuff like “clamjam” and “vagected.” Sounds like a bunch of gibberish to me. But it all boils down to the same thing: a woman stoppin’ another woman from, well, you know… gettin’ some.
Is there even a word for this?
It seems like nobody really knows what to call it proper. Some folks still just say “cockblock” even if it’s a woman doin’ the blockin’. Makes sense, I guess. A block’s a block, ain’t it? But others are tryin’ to come up with somethin’ new, somethin’ specific. I heard one fella say “chaperone,” but that sounds too polite for my taste. It’s more than just watchin’ over someone, it’s about stoppin’ somethin’.
- Maybe it’s a friend? Sometimes a friend gets a little too… friendly. Maybe she thinks she’s protectin’ her gal pal, or maybe she’s just plain jealous. Who knows? Young folks are complicated.
- Or maybe it’s family? A sister, a cousin… they can be the worst. Always stickin’ their noses where they don’t belong. “Oh, you don’t wanna be doin’ that,” they might say. Hmph! Like they know better.
Why does this happen, you ask?
Well, like I said, sometimes it’s jealousy. Sometimes it’s protectiveness. Maybe this friend or family member don’t think the fella is good enough. Or maybe… and this is just a guess, mind you… maybe they got their own eye on that fella. Or maybe they have their own eyes on that woman! Like I said, folks are complicated.
But sometimes, it ain’t even on purpose. Sometimes a person just happens to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. They ain’t tryin’ to ruin nothin’, they just… do. It’s like that time I was tryin’ to bake a cake and the dog ran in and knocked the whole thing on the floor. Dog wasn’t tryin’ to be mean, he was just bein’ a dog. Same thing with some of these cockblockers, I reckon.
Is there a way to stop a female cockblock?
Now, that’s the million-dollar question, ain’t it? If you ask me, the best way is to just be straight up. Tell that busybody to mind their own beeswax. “Look here,” you gotta say, “this ain’t none of your business.” Of course, that takes some guts. And sometimes, it just makes things worse.
Another thing you could do is try to get rid of ‘em. Send ‘em on an errand, tell ‘em you need some alone time, anything to get them out of the way. It’s like shooing a chicken out of the garden – gotta be firm but gentle.
But the truth is, sometimes there ain’t nothin’ you can do. Some folks are just born cockblockers, male or female. It’s in their blood, I tell ya. Like a bad habit, hard to break.
So, what have we learned?
Well, we learned that this “female cockblock” thing is just a woman gettin’ in the way of another woman’s… business. We learned that there ain’t no real good word for it yet, but folks are tryin’ to come up with one. And we learned that sometimes it’s on purpose, sometimes it ain’t, and sometimes there ain’t nothin’ you can do about it.
Now, if you’ll excuse me, I gotta go chase a squirrel out of my bird feeder. Seems like everything’s always tryin’ to cockblock somethin’ these days.
Tags: female cockblock, slang, relationships, interference, women, dating, jealousy, friends, family, prevention
