Listen up, honey. Let me tell you somethin’ ‘bout this boy of yours, this boyfriend, you know? I ain’t no fancy doctor or nothin’, but I seen a thing or two in my days, ya hear? You sayin’ he’s “secretly gay”? Well, bless your heart, that’s a pickle, ain’t it?
First off, don’t go blabbin’ this to everyone. It ain’t nobody’s business but yours and his, ya understand? You love him, right? That’s what matters. But love don’t mean you gotta be blind, neither.
Now, I ain’t sayin’ your boy is or ain’t, but let’s look at things, shall we? You gotta pay attention, girl. Like, does he ever… you know… look at other men? More than just a casual glance, I mean. Like, does he stare? Does he get all fidgety around ‘em? I knew this fella once, always talkin’ ‘bout how strong his buddy was, how good lookin’ he was… more than a fella should talk about another fella, you know? It was kinda… off.
- Is he avoidin’ you in the bedroom? I mean, if he ain’t touchin’ you, that’s a big red flag, bigger than a barn door. A man who loves a woman, he shows it, ya hear?
- Is he always with that one “friend”? Closer than two peas in a pod, they are? Always together, always whisperin’? Reminds me of my cousin Earl and his “pal” Billy. Took ‘em twenty years to finally admit they was more than just pals. Twenty years! Wasted, I tell ya.
- Does he clam up when you talk about the future? Like, marriage, kids, all that? A man who wants a future with you, he’ll talk about it. If he’s avoidin’ it, somethin’ ain’t right.
Look, honey, it ain’t just about the physical stuff, ya know? It’s about the… the feelin’s. Is he distant? Like he’s hidin’ somethin’? Is he… happy with you? Really happy? Or does he seem somewhere else, all the time?
And don’t be fooled by the sweet talk, either. Some men, they’re good at talkin’. They can sweet-talk the birds outta the trees. But it’s the actions that matter. Watch what he does, not what he says.
Now, don’t go accusin’ him of nothin’ right off the bat. That’ll just make him clam up tighter than a tick on a hound dog. You gotta be smart about this. Maybe just… ask him. Not in a confrontational way, mind you. But in a gentle, lovin’ way. Somethin’ like, “Honey, I love you, and I want you to be happy. Is there somethin’ you wanna talk about? Somethin’ that’s weighin’ on your mind?”
And if he does tell you, whatever it is, listen. Really listen. Don’t interrupt, don’t judge. Just listen. It takes a lot of courage for a man to open up like that, especially ‘bout somethin’ like this. And remember, honey, your happiness matters too. You deserve to be with someone who loves you completely, for who you are. And if he ain’t that person, well, then maybe it’s time to move on, ya know? It’ll hurt, sure. But it’ll hurt less than stayin’ in a relationship that ain’t right.
I know it ain’t easy, honey. Love never is. But you’re strong, you’re smart, and you’ll figure this out. Just trust your gut, pay attention, and don’t be afraid to ask the hard questions. And remember, you ain’t alone. You got people who love you and support you, even if it’s just a crazy old lady like me.
One more thing, if he ain’t ready to talk, don’t push him. He’ll tell you when he’s ready. Just let him know you love him and you’ll be there for him no matter what.
And for heaven’s sake, don’t go blaming yourself if it turns out he is gay. It ain’t your fault. It ain’t nobody’s fault. It just is what it is. You hear me? You are good enough just the way you are.
Now go on, girl. You got this.
Tags: [relationships, gay, boyfriend, sexuality, love, advice, communication, honesty, signs, support]
